When it comes to romance many people cannot use one word to define it. Romance is like a magic portion full of different herbs and concoctions. It is mostly believed that women are more romantic than men
Scientific surveys of love are odd beasts. Take the recent Psychology Today survey, conducted by Dr. Gwedolyn Seidman, that considered the idea of romance. According to a set of data called the “Romantic Beliefs Scale,” based on a questionnaire distributed to both genders, men are “more romantic” than women. That criterion Seidman uses to define romanticism is that love should be the driving factor in choosing a partner. “People with a highly romantic view of love believe that their love will be perfect and that each of us has one true love,” she writes. “[Women] are more likely to feel that love should develop slowly and to be cautious before jumping into a relationship, a less romantic attitude.”
But this study, though Seidman’s methods are sound, is necessarily flawed. Because unlike something like atmospheric pollution or tree trunk circumference, measuring what is and is not romantic is a subjective matter. “Romantic” suggests an idealized view of love, and, no surprise, ideals vary. The grand gesture, the roses everywhere, the skywriting, the profession of love in a crowded room, those are the things that we point to as examples of romance. Those things are great, and I’m not knocking them. But not all women think that a bathtub filled with chocolates is the ultimate expression of emotional connectedness. The way that women think about relationships and expect to be treated in them has evolved, and with them our expectations for what romance means.
Men are from Mars while women are from Venus. This means that when it comes to romance, the two genders have a different appetite. What a man finds romantic might what a woman finds as awkward but for the sake of love let us get it done.
1.Express interest in what he is thinking, feeling, wanting, and doing by asking him.
Asking self-reflective questions, allowing the time and space for him to answer, then talking so that he can elaborate will likely make him feel valued and that you care about him in a special way. Ideally, he may discover things or become aware of things about himself he rarely thinks about.
2.Give him your undivided attention, eye to eye.
Generally women talk more than they listen. Giving your undivided attention conveys that whatever they have to say is important to you. Eye to eye contact is a show of genuine interest, that you are comfortable being with him and that what he says truly matters to you.
3.Say what you’d really like, “I’d really appreciate it if you…
In the example above, George had felt disconnected from his wife for a while. He felt that she was constantly consumed, anxious and worried and that he was rarely on her radar. No matter what he did, it went unnoticed, so after a while, he stopped trying to read her mind. Making specific requests made him feel they were connected, partners working together who could count on each other for support. I believe that he was speaking for the majority of men.
Women love men who act like their knight in shining armor. He expects you to open doors and get things repaired. Women do not like weak men, they want you to take charge.
Romantic Need #1: To be spiritually ministered to by her man
Are you surprised that something to do with candy and flowers isn’t number one? A woman wants a man eager to be her protector, someone who cares not just about her security and physical needs but also (and even more importantly) about her spirituality, the well-being of her very soul.
Romantic Need #2: To feel safe and secure with her husband
A woman needs to feel her husband’s covenantal commitment to stay married and to love her and accept her. Then she feels safe to give him the gift of who she is in the marriage relationship. The Shulammite woman, who was the object of Solomon’s passion, said, “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine” (Song 6:3). She obviously had a strong sense of contentment and security.
Romantic Need #3: To share intimate conversation
According to something I read recently, the typical couple spends only four minutes a day in meaningful conversation with each other. A lot of us husbands don’t realize that for our wives to consider us romantic, we first of all have to be a great friend and a conversationalist.